5K? OK...

HOW NOT TO TRAIN FOR YOUR FIRST 5K...

Recently, my dear friend asked me to join their relay team and run a 5K leg in the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. Apparently my fingers typed some sort of affirmative text, while my brain screamed, "No!!! Don't say yes...why?!? Why?!?" Clearly, I did not have my stuff together that day. Alas, I made a commitment and I am going to honor it, even if the entire relay team has to fashion some sort of interlocking-arm stretcher and carry me the last mile. (Don't be jealous that you didn't ask me to be on your team first). Anyway, I figured now that I am a total expert in not training at all, seeing that the relay is just a couple of weeks away, I will impart my wisdom upon you, so that you too, may follow in my slacking, procrastinating ways. After all, I need to beat SOMEONE come race day. It may as well be you...

Tip #1. Make sure that you sign up for said race just before you fall victim to some sort of stomach bug, flu, or illness that renders you useless in training for at least a good week or two.

Tip #2. Train with someone who runs so fast, you almost puke within the first 2 minutes of the run. This will ensure that you walk the other 30 minutes to relieve the stitch in your side, regulate your hyperventilating, prevent a heart attack, etc. Continue to ask said person to run with you each day and learn nothing from all previous experiences. 

Tip #3. On days when it is beautiful outside, make sure to grab the most disgusting fast food you possibly can on your way home. Once that food hits your tummy, it is only a matter of time before your  grease-coma sets in and you are on your way to another night of "24" marathoning. Do they make t-shirts for that? 

Tip #4. Plan to stay up late for no apparent reason every night...get a late start on grading, work until 7 or 8, watch "24" (seriously, do it), cheer on the Thunder in a game that doesn't start until you're already tired, write a blog, play games on your iPhone with maddening levels that force you to stay up just...one...more...minute. Yeah, all that. 

Tip #5. Notice all the cute outfits you can wear while running, and spend time shopping online for said outfits instead of training. Maybe no one will notice the limp and heavy perspiration if you look the part. I mean, MY SOCKS WILL HAVE FLAMES. Who can't take THAT seriously?!

Tip #6. Make sure that said race will fall on a day of inclemate weather, as it has for the past umpteen years of this particular marathon. I've been a spectator at many of these shindigs...it's pretty much been miserable every time. I mean, you can't exactly control the weather, but if you're in Oklahoma for any race, bad weather is pretty much a given. Then you can blame your injuries and slow time on the lack of visibility or slippery conditions and no one ever has to know that you have only run 3 times in as many months. 

Tip #7. Practice the post-race smile. You'll have to really cheese it up for this to work...I imagine the excruciating pain come race day will bring the cheese down to a believable notch for the picture. Everyone on Facebook will be impressed with your 5K abilities and consider you to be some sort of running expert forever after. 

Seriously though, I'm finishing this sucker, and finishing it well. If I can have a natural birth, work myself half to death on a weekly basis while being a decent mom, and survive testing week, I can run speed walk a 5K without training. Come cheer me on...maybe I'll see you through the fog.

Those Magic Moments...

Parenting certainly has its moments:


That moment when your precious baby girl shows you the sippy cup she's drinking out of...and you don't remember pouring it for her. That is, within the last week.

That moment when you turn on a VeggieTales episode for your daughter and realize that you are the only one watching it, but you must see how it ends!

That moment when "We will never be THOSE PARENTS" bites you in the backside.

That moment when you know that if anyone could see the silly faces you are making and hear the ridiculous sounds coming from your mouth, they would think you were straight up crazy. And you don't care.

That moment when you recognize that you have been blabbering on about your child for so long, you don't even remember how long you've been talking. And you can't stop yourself. And you don't care.

That moment when you actually consider sleeping in the car so that you don't have to go through the whole traumatic car seat to crib and pajama transition.

That moment when you buy yet ANOTHER toy, despite knowing that the box will still be more interesting than the actual toy for at least a few more weeks.

That moment when you realize that the, "We have to go. It's past her bedtime," excuse from others (that you used to roll your eyes at) was not just an excuse.

That moment when the worst of moods lifts in an instant...an instant of beautiful, innocent laughter from your child.

That moment when you FINALLY get your daughter to sleep, hold your breath, tiptoe out, slllooowwwlllyyy shut the door, and then immediately miss her and wish she was back in your arms.


Magic Moments indeed...and may we all have many more in the coming year.

Our Year in Pictures...Part 2

JULY

Addison loved the pool, the pink, and the princesses! 

Addison started standing up on her own, with no help...although occasionally the grocery cart came in handy. 

Our first Independence Day as a family was a very special night!



AUGUST

As Mommy got ready to go back to school, Addison worked on poses for her upcoming birthday invitations. 

After all, it's never too early to start thinking about a baby's first birthday party! 

SEPTEMBER

Addison was informed by Mommy, much to Daddy's chagrin, that she was Sooner-born.

She was also assured that being the baby of the family would have its perks...someday.

Addison Dancing!

September also saw Addison busting some serious moves...link above. Prepare to laugh!!

OCTOBER

In between laps around the coffee table, Addison got all dressed up to go trick-or-treating for the first time! In equally exciting news, Mommy and Daddy got the joy of stealing Addison's candy for the first, but definitely NOT the last, time.

NOVEMBER
Addison is walking!!
This was Addison's month! She took her very first steps just before her first birthday! You can click the link above if you are so inclined.
Addison got her first taste of cake...and her first skin stain.

Poppy finally got to reveal his beautiful, handmade birthday surprise!!! 

DECEMBER

We ended the year just as we began it, with a Thunder game. Afterwards, we made some New Year's Resolutions. May we all...

Keep our noses clean

Keep our noses to the grindstone

Keep our loved ones close, and...

Keep the magic and surprise of the holidays alive all year!


Happy New Year, and may we all have a better 2014 than we ever thought possible!!

Our Year in Pictures...Part 1

JANUARY

On this cold day, I was charitable enough to invite a homeless man to the Thunder game with me. ;-)

In other news, Addison discovered her love of polka dots!

FEBRUARY

Addison was the best Valentine's gift we've ever received! 

MARCH

No pinching went on at our house...

But being force fed baby food was torture enough!

APRIL

We celebrated our first Easter as a family! (Okay, TECHNICALLY this was March 31st. But everyone knows that Easter is supposed to be in April). 


MAY

Addison decided that rolling around with Zooey was the most fun thing she'd ever done!

We, as a family, committed to raising Addison in a Christ-like home during her baby dedication.



JUNE

Addison gave Daddy his first Father's Day present!

And then an equally impressive gift...crawling!!

Blessed Beyond Measure

My Precious Daughter,

One year ago, I could not imagine my life as a mom. I could not imagine what it would be like to gaze into your blue eyes, kiss your cheeks, wipe your tears. I could not imagine a love so all-encompassing, could not imagine so many hurts in my heart being healed by such a tiny, perfect person.

It has been such a joy watching you grow and develop this year, my little pumpkin. I look back at your pictures from that surreal day of your birth, and I can't believe that you were so small. Even then, the nurses all commented on how alert you seemed for such a little girl. You were already straining to hold up your head in the first few weeks, eager to see everything around you. Those first several months you preferred to sleep during the day and stay awake all night. We spent many a day together snuggled in a recliner, dozing on and off. Those moments were the closest to heaven I may ever get on this Earth. I remember the first time you had a fever, your daddy and I were beside ourselves, staying up all night, taking turns sleeping on your floor. And at the first sign of distress, we were jumping up from our much-needed sleep; we would have done anything to make you feel better. Your first belly laugh came thanks to Daddy, and the sound filled the room and our hearts. We have never stopped trying to make you laugh…some days you are stingier than others, but we can always count on a sleepy baby to be just delirious enough to deliver one or two. The first time you heard music, REALLY heard it, your love for it was obvious. You would awaken from your nap immediately if you heard certain songs, and still will for some. Everyone who has spent any amount of time with you has laughed and laughed at your propensity to "shake it" to the slightest beat, your mischievous head tilt, and your sweet, sweet singing. You have so much energy and are continuously on the go! You love toys that light up or play music, but you are never content to play with just one for very long. We are constantly amazed at your curiosity, your determination, and your problem-solving. You have always done things early, and have kept us on our toes from the moment you first rolled over.

You are such a strong, independent baby. We smile wistfully as you twist from our lap towards your crib at night while we try to keep you our baby, wrestling against nature and your headstrong ways. We can't help but laugh when you loudly demand another bite, scream your displeasure when we take a toy away, or voice your disapproval to the dogs with a resounding NO…we know that you will never have trouble standing up for yourself, and that will serve you well. We have always prayed that you would grow up to have a discerning heart and to take the road less traveled; it seems that you indeed have a good foundation for those qualities already.

We have no idea what you will become Baby Girl. A veterinarian? Zooey and Koda are your favorite companions and you love nothing more than climbing all over them or throwing toys for them to retrieve. A dancer or a musician? You already have moves that you did not inherent from either of us, and your sense of rhythm amazes us! I have no doubt that music will be an important part of your life in some facet or another. A race car driver? You love your new riding toys and the faster you go, the more you smile and laugh. An author or a librarian? I will often catch you looking quietly through books by yourself, turning pages happily. I always take that opportunity to drop everything and read to you; I know that you are going to be a voracious reader regardless of your vocation. We pray daily for your future; your possibilities are endless.

We know that this next year will bring many things: new words, developmental growth, and a continued unveiling of who you really are, and who you will become. You cannot fathom how blessed we feel to have you, my child, and our hearts overflow. You have turned our world upside down and inside out, and we cannot imagine it any other way. Happy 1st Birthday Addison. Our favorite book to read together closes it best: "I love you more, so much more, than you've ever known."

Everything,

Mommy

The Restoration Project...Part 4

#4 The Counseling Continuation 

Erik and I did not seek premarital counseling. If we had, we may have delayed our marriage for a few years working through all of the baggage we were bringing with us, but alas, instead we were married after just a month of being engaged. Erik told me about a couple the other day that is planning to not only get premarital counseling, but also seek therapy all throughout their marriage. I think that is so smart! Much like maintaining a car instead of waiting until it breaks down and leaves you stranded while picturing terrifying scenarios involving hook hands and horror movies (just me?), attending therapy in the good times instead of waiting for a crisis is one of the best tools (in my opinion) for starting and keeping a happy marriage.

Even as we speak, Erik and I are back in the middle of counseling. We have done marriage counseling in the rocky times, individual grief counseling during our fertility trials, and now we are back to do a little maintenance as getting this right is even more important now that we have a precious baby girl. We want to make sure that our baggage stays where it belongs, that we handle disagreements with the utmost maturity, and that we learn how to manage keeping our marriage on track while being new parents. If you were to count up the time and money we have spent on therapy, it would be astronomical. So we don't. We just know that it's been worth every dime.

I have heard so many excuses from couples on the brink of divorce and it usually starts with money. As far as I'm concerned, if you can afford to eat out, go to the movies, or pay for your child's activities, you can afford to go to counseling. Or rather, you can't afford not to. Your child may miss their year of baseball, but I'm sure they would miss their mommy or daddy much more were your marriage to end! And it's probably cheaper than a divorce too!! Many counselors charge on a sliding scale based on your income, most take insurance, and there are some that are working on their licensure that are quite cheap, relatively speaking.

The other mistake that we've seen couples make is quitting counseling too soon. It is going to bring up tough, painful issues. You WILL want to stop going. Just remember, it often gets worse before it gets better. There would be nights we would leave counseling and not speak all of the next day. There would be nights we would leave and vow never to go back. But now, I value the dialogue it opens up, the forum it gives us to voice our feelings, and the communication it inspires once we leave. I like knowing that if and when life throws us another curveball, there is someone who knows our entire relationship history, who values the sanctity of marriage, and who will help us work through anything.
It has not been a quick fix, no. We will always be a work in progress, and we will continue to use her as needed, regardless of stigmas and without apology.

We have given the name of our counselor to more couples than I can count. If you would like her name and number (and she is amazing, trust me), just send me a message and I will happily pass it along. We don't get anything for referring people to her...otherwise we'd have a free lifelong pass. And believe me when I say that we wouldn't be ashamed to use it!


"The development of a really good marriage is not a natural process.
It is an achievement."~David and Vera Mace

The Restoration Project...Part 3

#3 Social Media Seduction

Ah, Facebook. Isn't it the best?! You can search for people you haven't even thought about since elementary school and then chat with them on a whim! You can spy on old flames, rejoicing that you picked the right spouse after all. You can reconnect with far away family, create invites to events in seconds, and tell the world about your dinner plans all in one place. Sounds harmless enough. And it can be. It can also be the most dangerous thing in the world to your marriage. 

It only takes a quick search on the internet to see how often Facebook is now being cited in divorce cases. The numbers are staggering as far as I'm concerned. Now, I understand that numbers can be skewed. Do I think 1 in every 5 people on Facebook is really having an affair? Of course not. Do I think that a rocky marriage is going to fall apart because both parties have an account? No. But I think that if a couple is not extremely, incredibly careful, they can easily become another statistic. 

Case in point: A person is having a hard time in their marriage. They reach out to a friend of the opposite sex, quite possibly someone they haven't seen in years. The "friend" listens. They compliment. They lavish praise and build up self-esteem. Suddenly a little hill in the marriage seems like an insurmountable mountain. The "friendship" takes on the shade of the greenest grass. Before they know it, they're in a full blown emotional affair, nothing to scoff at. Maybe it goes a step more, maybe it doesn't. But their marriage is worse for the wear, if not destroyed. Even if their partner never finds out, and they probably will, the affair will change that person. The guilt will consume them, turn them into someone they hate. And then they will take that anger, that self-loathing, and turn it around on their partner. And poof, their marriage completely self-destructs like the impossible mission it should never have been. 

I'm going to cut right to the chase on this one. I knew that this particular blog would be the hardest to write in the series (but also too important to me not to) because people don't want to admit that they are susceptible to this particular sin or even already engaged in it. I'll make this simple: If you have a password on your phone to unlock it and your spouse doesn't know what it is, if you are deleting phone calls or texts, if you are deleting conversations off of Facebook, or if you are getting rid of emails, then you are on a slippery slope towards the ruination of your marriage, if you aren't there already. You can build walls to hide from the guilt, you can blame your spouse to justify what you're doing, you can even get a divorce to continue living the lie, but sooner or later, reality will find you. And that wall you've so carefully constructed, well, it will crush the people behind it. The people that love you, rely on you, and believe in you. And they will never look at you in quite the same way. And honestly, when that wall comes crashing down, you won't see yourself the same way either. I know. I've seen it. I've watched it over and over. I've been there for friends in their anger, their justifications, their wake up calls. And none of them, NONE OF THEM, ever thought that they would be another social media casualty. 

If you are going through a rough patch, ask yourself if the temptation is worth it. For us, in the midst of our problems, Facebook was causing lots of jealousy and compounding the insecurity of a rocky relationship. "Why are you friends with them? How do you know them? Why are they commenting on everything you write?" Our counselor looked at us incredulously one session and asked us WHY we were holding on to something so trivial if it was causing us to fight?! Light bulb moment! We made a decision then and there to join our accounts and we have never looked back. We have all of each other's email passwords and we leave our phones lying around when we are at home instead of carrying them with us from room to room like lifelines. That may seem extreme or even ridiculous to other people, but since we've done it, we don't fight much anymore and the tension has disappeared in this area. I'm not telling you what is or isn't right for your marriage, but if it's causing problems, perhaps it's time to think about priorities. And if it's not, make sure to take steps to keep it that way. Your marriage is worth it!