Wednesday, May 29, 2013


I have discovered something incredible recently. It may sound unbelievable; it may even make you jealous. Here it is: Addison possesses magical powers. I know, I sounds crazy. To prove it, I'm going to share just a few examples.

  • Addison can predict, with 100% accuracy, the exact moment the server is bringing the meal at any restaurant. She alerts us by waking up and screaming. Her alarm gives us just enough notice to have time to clear space for our entrees...such a handy power! 
  • This same alarm system also alerts me as to when I am about to buy something I don't really need. It sounds in the dressing rooms, in the checkout lines, or sometimes even upon entering a store. This requires an immediate exit, therefore saving us money! 
  • Addison can make whoever is holding her invisible...this power radiates to include any family member within a 3 foot radius. She will garner all the attention. She will be talked to, touched, smiled at, even asked questions...all while her proud mommy and daddy smile, unnoticed. 
  • Her powers of persuasion are unmatched. She has even convinced Daddy, with her special mind tricks, to let Mommy get an SUV without Mommy even asking. Remarkable! 

I have noticed some other unusual happenings around my house that have given me pause:

First off, my scale is showing me to be at pre-pregnancy weight. If that's true, then why does my body look so very different than it did back then? Currently, I resemble one of those BEFORE photos you see at a plastic surgeon's office. The ones that makes you cringe. Weird right?

Next, dirty bottles multiply on an hourly basis. I'll look up and see one, and the next thing I know there are three. Same with the piles of dirty laundry. And my stack of unread books. I'm just not sure what to make of that.

In a strange twist, other things have been disappearing at an alarming rate. Cases of diapers and wipes are here one moment, gone the next. Containers of formula are emptied as quickly as they are opened.  And working batteries (that were so plentiful before) needed for various baby gadgets are as elusive as our free time that has all but vanished as well.

Finally, baby toys are slowly taking over my house. Now I'm not saying that they converge at night to hold secret meetings a la Toy Story, but something is going on. I step on them in places they should not be, and I see them seeking refuge under couches and tables that they were definitely NOT under before. Some people might blame the dogs, but I'm not convinced.

Maybe I've finally gotten my wish and awoken to a parallel universe, my very own Harry Potter-esque world? Or, more likely, I'm living my dream of motherhood, my very own perfect, albeit crazy, reality.

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