The Santa Squabble Update

When I wrote my original post detailing our plans for Santa-free lives years ago, I did it with great conviction, if not a slight touch of naiveteˊ. You see, I didn't exactly know what would lie ahead, only that we believed whole-heartedly in our future December traditions. For those of you thinking of following in our wildly unpopular footsteps, here are my thoughts six years in...

Unexpected Hurdle #1: Addison did, in fact, spill the beans to at least one child that we know of; thankfully we seem to have moved past the holding-the-breath moments we previously experienced whenever Santa was mentioned around her. We've role-played, begged, reminded, and explained more times than we can count. If you know Addison, you know she is a very matter-of-fact child, and in her mind, a statement from a person is absolutely true. And so if it is not true, it must be a lie. Trying to get her to understand the complexities of Santa has proven to be much more difficult than we expected. Each year we discuss the real Saint Nicholas with her; we read a book about him and how he relates to today's Santa traditions. Then in the simplest terms, we remind her that some parents like to play pretend with their children, and that it is not up to her to ruin their game. She has tried so hard to understand all the whys, but our explanation still doesn't make sense to her, and that has proven to be the biggest obstacle so far.

Unexpected Hurdle #2: We knew before we ever had Addison that we did not want Santa to come to our house. However, what I didn't expect was to have so much guilt years into the choice. At first, all of the "I feel sorry for her" laments and incredulous questions just made me defensive. But as the years have passed, I've found myself letting others' doubts creep in. Did we make a mistake? Will she be scarred for life? Is she missing out? Are we ruining her childhood? When Addison looked at me recently and said, "Mommy, I'm glad you didn't make me believe in any of that fantasy stuff," my heart broke just a little.

Unexpected Hurdle #3: While we discovered early on that the rejection of Santa led to unwanted commentary, we also found that it led to others feeling judged for their own family choices. I promise, we aren’t judging! It is just so hard--harder than we ever expected--to try and explain the reasons behind an unpopular conviction you have and not sound holier-than-thou. Even now, years later, no matter how I try and spin it when people ask, and ONLY when they ask, our Santa-less existence ends many a December conversation in uncomfortable silence. I've tried self-deprecation, subject changes, simple statements--nothing seems to change the inevitable awkwardness that follows the now-dreaded Santa conversation.

That's not to say it's all been bad, or even difficult. In fact, while I didn't quite understand all of the small hurdles we would face, I am ashamed to say that I definitely didn't expect the many blessings that I have seen come out of our choice.

The biggest blessing of all is that Addison has completely embraced the true meaning of Christmas. She understands it all so much more than I ever did as a kid. She is fully focused on Jesus--the real reason for the season. Instead of the elf, we hide a star every night, which she truly looks forward to finding. She leaves her Wise Men at the spot where she finds the star each morning, and the next night we do it again. On Christmas morning, she will find the star above the manger scene. We still do most of the same things Erik and I did as children, and she still gets a stocking from us, but she is not really focused on receiving gifts; she is all about the giving. This year, she surprised us by telling us she didn't want any presents from us. She wanted instead to go pick out toys for someone who needed them more than she did. That was one of my proudest mommy moments. I know that we could not have bought nearly as much for "Zach"--yes, Addison named our Angel Tree kiddo--if we had to pretend to be Santa for her. It makes it a much bigger sacrifice for her knowing she won't get presents from us at all, and sacrificial giving is something we are constantly working towards as a family. Do I believe that God is blessing us because we don't celebrate Santa? No, I believe that the blessing comes from following our convictions, and in this matter they are different for everyone.

So do I wish I could go back in time and change our Christmas traditions? When Addison thanked me in regards to the "fantasy stuff," she truly meant it. She is the most logical little human I've ever met, and there is little room for gray in her world. We didn't know who she would be someday when we began to follow our conviction, but I can't help but think that God was already steering us towards what would be best for her. I can honestly say no, I don't think we would change one single Santa-less thing.

SIX-ty Miles an Hour

My precious, precocious, brilliant, vivacious daughter, 

Six years have come and gone. Six years since you made me a mommy. Six years since you changed my life forever. Six years of ups and downs and smiles and laughter and tears. 

Addison, I cannot possibly put into words how you have bettered me. You inspire me. On my hardest days, God uses you to lift my spirits, and on my happiest days, you multiply my joy. Little girl, you are extraordinary. Your wit, kindness, generosity, intelligence and unique insight are such a powerful combination; God is going to use you for big things.

God has gifted you in so many ways. This year saw you take up piano, advance into chapter books, and pursue art with a passion. While you may not be the next Mozart or Picasso, you still amaze us daily with all you are capable of. Your potential is limitless.

You are a born teacher. While you may never choose to stand in front of a classroom, you will teach in some capacity--that much is certain. Daddy and I are your favorite students, and you frequently help us learn new words in Spanish or demand that we raise our hands to speak at the dinner table. You love telling us all the things you will do someday when you have your own classroom, and oh, how we love to hear your grand ideas.

You have worked so hard at making new friends this year. I love watching you play with others and just act like a kid. Because you are so rarely around anyone your age outside of school, we often view you as a mini adult. But seeing you run and laugh, tossing all carries and worries aside, makes my heart sing.

You may not be perfect, but you are the perfect little girl for me, and I thank God daily for the gift of you.

I love you, my favorite.

Mommy