It is with hopefulness, thankfulness, and excitement that I report that at this moment I am still pregnant! I know that may sound a little strange, but as most of you know, nothing about my journey has been normal. Most women don't see a doctor until at least their 8th week; I've seen mine once (sometimes twice) a week since week 3. I've had a few problems that have given me some scares, but at this time I have seen the baby's heartbeat twice and so far it's measuring a week bigger than my dates say it should. (7 versus 6) Dr. IC said that at this point we should "consider the glass at least 60-70% full." Any fuller and it might tip over and spill right? 70% is full enough for me.
This pregnancy so far just has a whole different feel to it. I am sicker, more exhausted, and more at peace than I have been through past experiences. Some of my friends may question the "at peace" part due to the amount of prayer requests I've been soliciting at every turn, but it's true. At peace for me doesn't mean no anxiety, as I'm not sure that I even know how to live that way. Even when I'm not pregnant I give off a stressed vibe...that's just me. At peace means that I know now more than ever that God is in control and there is NOTHING I can do but pray. Previously that knowledge just left me feeling helpless; this time it's a little empowering. I can't ruin this or change the outcome. God's plan is in motion; my attitude while I live it is just as meaningful a testimony as it will be when I hold a baby in my arms someday. Now THAT, I CAN control.