Monday, January 10, 2011

The "Grief Bubble"


In talking to other people who have dealt with loss, I have found that we have something in common. After every tragedy, there is that one defining moment that snaps you out of your “grief bubble” as I call it. Many can recall the exact second, however innocuous it may have been. It can be as simple as opening your front door to see the UPS man delivering a package or a garbage truck driving down the street. Suddenly you realize that yes, the world is still spinning. Life is still going on all around you. The neighbors are obliviously getting their mail, unaware that your life has stopped in its tracks. The dog next door is pooping on your lawn - simply carrying out its maddening daily ritual. And you want to scream to break the monotony of it all…the sheer idiocy of our routines. Grief has opened your eyes to the fact that life is short and we have to make every moment count. You NEED others to understand this. But instead you close the door and lean against it, knowing that YOU are the one that has just had the epiphany, and that is a bell you can’t unring. No more pajamas and comfort food. No more sleeping the day away. Life is passing YOU by, not the other way around.

As far as I know, there is no timeline for this day…it hits you out of the blue. Some people may walk around in their “bubble” for months, some people only days. It can almost have a hint of betrayal, that decision to live again. How can you do the loss justice without round-the-clock mourning?  And the first day you don’t think about it at all and then realize this the NEXT day…that seems to be treason! But it’s not. It’s healing. And it’s a journey that is just beginning. 


  1. You have found your canvas. Keep blogging please. These two paragraphs resonated with me in a way that novels have not.

  2. Thanks Ryan. That means a lot.