So this may sound crazy to everyone but me, but this time (having had some experience) I KNEW I was pregnant, despite the 3 negative tests declaring otherwise. I felt God telling me that I would find out that I was pregnant on Thanksgiving Day. I know, crazy. I took a test the morning before Turkey Day. Nothing. Patience is not my #1 virtue, or really on the list at all, come to think of it. On Thanksgiving morning I took a test as soon as my eyes were open. I saw a line. The faintest line in history according to Erik. I immediately decided that I must go out and buy another test of a different brand to confirm. Yes, we spend ungodly amounts of money on pregnancy tests. It’s a problem. Anyway, the more expensive (and therefore more reliable I’m sure) test said PREGNANT. I was exhilarated, but once again terrified. However, I had the promise of needles in the hindquarters to reassure me that this time we were going to do everything humanly possible to keep this baby.
I called Dr. GB as soon as possible after the holiday. He got us right in and a nurse showed Erik how to administer the progesterone shots into the muscle of my bum. “Like a dart,” was her best advice. Looking back I’m not so sure…Anyway, the nightly shots were excruciating for me. Usually it had nothing to do with the pain of the shot. It was all mental. The exhaustion they caused. The reminder to me that the shots meant I wasn’t “normal.” The excitement they took away from the pregnancy. But every morning I would wake up renewed (and sore) knowing that this time was different. After all, finding out on Thanksgiving Day had to be a sign, right?
Dr. GB had me coming in constantly, sometimes up to 3 times a week. The appointments were before school, and those early mornings coupled with the long drives were exhausting. They kept me in good spirits though, as I knew that every time I went, I would get to see our baby. This baby had more pictures taken of it then some do AFTER they’re born! 5 weeks = picture. 6 weeks = picture and a heartbeat of 110. 7 weeks = picture and a heartbeat of 130. I have to admit that this time, against all of my pessimistic (I call them realistic) tendencies, I knew that this was it. Thanksgiving, a new doctor, shots every night, the doctor’s good reports…God was answering our prayers.
Amber...I just rest read 1-4. Then your blog stops. Please let me know what happened. I have been praying for you. Your strength and faith are very powerful.
ReplyDeletePart 5 is tomorrow...then Part 6 on Sunday!! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!!!
ReplyDeleteI have to say I'm one of those friends that's scared to talk about it because I don't know what to say. My heart has been broken for you guys.
So proud of how well you are handling it.
We love you guys and won't stop praying for you!!!!