Here goes...(Part 1 of 6)

So this is it. My first sentence as an official "blogger" is complete. The stress of having something profound to say, the pressure to change the world with my unique insight and make people laugh with my acerbic wit was enough to delay this journey for a full 2 years. Recent events in my life convinced me that I needed to begin a blog...for ME. This blog is not for anyone else, although I may share my posts with a few trusted friends. Writing for me has always been therapeutic, even more so when I don't have to analyze each sentence for possible quotes in the making. Perfectionism has indeed held me back for far too long. So it begins...

Because this blog is about healing, I have to go back in time, back to when it all began. July of 2009. It's no secret to our closest friends that Erik and I were having major marital troubles. Not your typical "I hate your Star Trek shows" and "You spend too much on clothes" troubles. MAJOR troubles. We had just begun counseling to try to hold it all together when I peed on a stick. Well, not exactly like that, but you get the idea. I was pregnant. I am ashamed to admit that, at that time, our first reaction was not excitement a la the commercials in which couples scream, hug, and trade in their sports car. We were overwhelmed, shocked, and angry. We continued working on our marriage in between my hormone flare-ups and morning sickness. Meanwhile we were both anticipating the date of our first appointment and ultrasound. Don't babies always fix marriages? I digress. The ultrasound yielded...nothing. A sac, a fetal pole, no baby. While we were taken aback with grief, we were also assured that almost half of pregnancies end in miscarriage and that it would NOT happen again. We continued to improve our marriage and lo and behold, come May...